My Story by Johan Vandegriff

Here are some limericks that I wrote for an assignment to tell my story.

Johan is one quarter Lebanese,
And three quarters white as swiss cheese.
He’s spent so long in MoCo,
That he’s started to go loco,
And he plans to take a trip overseas.

In 5th grade he became a Boy Scout,
And liked to make fires and camp out.
He advanced up in rank,
Supportive family to thank,
And got Eagle before the time ran out.

In High School he built many a robot,
But never gave the plan enough forethought.
They were piles of metal,
Duct taped to a tea kettle,
But they advanced to Worlds on a longshot.

Tinkering is Johan’s main token.
From this there’s a proverb he’s spoken:
For in work or playing,
He lives by the saying,
If you can’t fix it, it ain’t broken.

When he was bored he played board games,
In Dominion and Boggle he scored claims,
But when railroads got gold studded,
Monopoly got cold-blooded,
And the friendships descended toward flames.

On February 14, what’s he doing?
Not sending cards, giving candy, or wooing.
He’s in his room with a CD,
Reading a tutorial wiki,
Installing Arch Linux on his PC.

Johan’s become opposed to Google,
The Internet kit and caboodle.
He wants to stop being tracked,
And get privacy back,
But all of it’s just too dang useful.

Now Johan’s a college freshman,
Studying for a lofty profession.
He’ll be a double E,
Hitting the books with glee,
Until he runs into crippling depression.
(Just kidding 🙂